Busy Isn’t Better: A Doulas Call to Slow Down

By Delanie King

Lately, I’ve noticed a trend that feels quite alarming: doulas becoming obsessed with being busy. Calendars packed, bursting at the seams. Books filled months out. Squeezing in clients anywhere they can. Days operating at max capacity. It’s as if constantly saying yes has become the new measure of success. 

Underneath that hustle sits something fragile and unsustainable. 

I’m seeing doulas say yes to everyone and anyone. Sometimes out of fear of an empty calendar or need of a pay cheque. Sometimes out of a deep desire not to let anyone down.  And then, the panic arrives. Overbooked. Double booked. Spread thin. Exhausted. Burn out looming. 

This isn’t only harmful to clients. It’s harmful to doulas. 

A burnt-out doula cannot offer the grounded presence they promise.

A burnt-out doula cannot show up for their own family, their own body, their own healing. 

A burnt-out doula cannot sustainably hold space for birth, death, postpartum, grief, or any part of this sacred work.

Rest is not laziness. Rest is a radical act of resistance in a world obsessed with productivity. 

We cannot preach to our clients that they deserve rest while denying it to ourselves. We cannot encourage them to honour their boundaries while ignoring our own. 

Saying no is an act of love. For ourselves. For our clients. A doula who knows their limits is a doula who protects the integrity of their care. 

Lean on Community

Doulas, get to know other doulas. Build relationships. Build trust. Build community. 

When you have to say no (and you will) you can confidently refer someone to a colleague you believe in. This is how we support families without sacrificing ourselves.

To the seasoned doulas:

Welcome the new doulas with open arms.

Mentor them. Encourage them. Include them.

If your inbox is overflowing, I promise there is a newer doula eager for the chance to support a family and gain experience. Sharing opportunities strengthens our entire community. 

Busy Does Not Mean Better

Taking on more does not make you:

• A better doula

• A better caretaker 

• A better business owner

• A better person

What does?

Holding space for yourself.

Learning the sacred skill of saying no.

Honouring your own body, mind, and capacity with the same compassion you offer others. 

A Question To Carry

Before you take on one more client, one more birth, one more task you don’t have room for, pause and ask yourself:

If this were my client, what would I advise them to do?

Your answer will tell you everything you need to know.